Wrap my head around

It's the time of year I love and hate the most. I love all the produce in the garden, the days of summer, and spending time at home. I hate the thoughts of going back to work (for real next week) and making the transition from a busy crazy summer to the super busy, crazy, school year. This is my time of year of most frustration, anticipation, depression. I love being home with my boys, and even though I haven't gotten everything on my to-do list done, I want to keep trying. All school year I put things off until summer, when there will be time, only to have summer arrive and get consumed in the daily life and activities that we need to do and the realization that there is no way to accomplish all that I expected to.

I know I'm whining, but it is with the hope that once I get this out I'll feel better and be able to get something accomplished today. The frustration of the transition is getting to me. Add to that financial frustrations, and I'm pulling out my hair (hopefully just the gray ones.)

I know things will get better, and that once I'm into the groove of work I'll be better. I just don't know if I'm ready to slide from summer into fall yet.

Plus Koe makes the kindergarten transition. Where did that come from? How did my first baby grow to this lanky five year old who wants to know all the answers to his worldly questions?

Time keeps going, I just need to figure out how to wrap my head around it.

Denial

I'm in denial right now. Denial that my summer is rapidly fading. Tomorrow morning will bring the start of leaving my house before 7 am the majority of days, for the next 9 months. Of waking sleeping boys and shoving them into clothes, strapping them in the car with a cup of milk/coffee (Kohen has a caffeine habit, I know...he's 4) and cereal that will ultimately end up on the floor, under the seats, and in those impossible cracks that no vacuum can reach.
So, if I were smart I would be running around, organizing, cleaning, and getting things prepared so I will have a smooth morning tomorrow.
Instead, I've spent the last 40 minutes catching up on blog reading, on facebook, and craigslist. I did take the time to lay out clothes for the boys, put away the majority of their clean laundry, and pack a bag of extras for daycare. However, my room is littered with laundry baskets of clothes- all clean mind you- but certainly wrinkled, and the guest room has no less than 5 loads of laundry waiting in the wings. Add to that the fact that I need to go feed the meatbird chicks, who are beginning to frighten me (they REALLY like their food, and can mistake a hand for it) and lock up the chickens and ducks, and do one last check on the sheepies. Perhaps I should be attacking that list instead of blogging? But, blogging is my aid to a clear mind and helps me process through my thoughts and frustrations.
I know part of the reason I was so angry with Kohen when he decided to cover his body in black mud today was because I'm crabby about having to go back to a routine, and work. I love our summer routine with lots of outside time and always a bit of down time in the afternoon during Isaiah's nap. My boys cannot understand and should not be blamed for adult pressures that make me less carefree and less willing to spend twenty minutes catching grasshoppers, picking raspberries, or building train tracks. The idea of daycare is not terribly exciting to either of them and I expect tears tomorrow morning. But, the bright side is only two days this week and two days next week before we start the five day a week brunt. A planned trip to the State Fair in the middle should help us give one last wave to our carefree summer.

Soggy & Slugs

Soggy Daisy.Waterlogged J.J.

Bunny and one of her daughters (whom Kohen calls Cream since she is white.)

Scar's ram lamb, J.J.. Fiona, and Scar.

Finnegan, our prospective ram for next year. He is 1/2 shetland, 1/4 icelandic, 1/4 border leicester. Beautiful fleece, and a bit of size on the purebred shetlands.

Those two words sum up this summer for me. We have not had much of a summer. We have had a lot of rain, mist, and cool weather. Most nights have been down into the forties. It is good weather for lettuce, broccoli, onions, peas, and chard. It is not good weather for peppers, tomatoes, or corn. Or little boys wanting to play. We ventured out during a break in the rain yesterday, but were soon soggy up to our knees.

And slugs... oh the slugs. It is a paradise for them this year. I am so sick of slugs. Looking at them, picking them, smashing them. We've been trying to be as natural as possible, and coffee has seemed to work quite well on the slugs. Unfortunately a family of cabbage worms decided to visit the broccoli row this last week, and frustrate us even more.

So even though I haven't gotten to enjoy much hot weather, or a bountiful harvest, I can't say I haven't enjoyed the summer. Being able to spend so much time with my boys (some days too much) and enjoy my spot on the planet has made for a wonderful season. Along with spending lots of time with old and new friends. I've also ventured into some new areas, with the farmer's market. My list of 'gotta get dones' may not be done, and I may have to start working again next week but I'm filled with a sense of happiness, peace and a bit of accomplishment.