Rice River Ramblings: Stories from the farm
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Eggs & Bacon
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Farmer Failure
I am a failure at being a farmer. A goat farmer. I knew Brie was probably going to kid in the next couple of weeks. I have been diligently checking her bag and backside for weeks, twice a day. How did she go from looking the same as she has for two weeks, to giving birth to triplets...in the night...with no one there to make sure they made it. I'm mad, and disappointed, all at myself. I've accepted it; but twice a day as I head to the goat shed to milk her, I get mad all over again. Nate tries to make me take consolation in the facts, she probably wouldn't have been able to feed triplets, they were all bucks, it's just too cold to have baby goats living in the shed, it makes me feel marginally better. But I still failed.
What started out as a hobby, few goats, sheep... has turned into my life. I have my family, my school kids, and our animals. People tell me they wish they could live "simply" like we do. I often want to invite them to visit and stay during lambing or calving time. Give it a week, and you tell me how simple it feels. Rushing home from work hoping only the skilled "good" moms gave birth while we were away.
We continue to wrestle with where we want to go with the pigs. Raising Red Wattle pigs the way we are, with the cost of feed, is not a wise financial decision. Nate calculated this morning that we will have a minimum of 2.50 a pound into the current batch when they are ready to be butchered. That is the feed costs. It doesn't cover the electricity for providing them fresh water during the winter, or the daily labor. Who in their right minds would keep working at something that only costs you?
The answer: me. Us. We do. We start discussing and decided it isn't wise to keep the pigs. Then we eat some pork chops, and ask the question, Where would we get this good pork? Darn it. Farm decisions are never easy. I would love to make this my full time occupation. The reality is it takes both of us working outside jobs to make the income to have the farm too.
The only consolation I have is that my boys are living, learning, and eating right. They are jealous of the dogs and cat getting the goat milk right now, wanting to know how many days until we milk for our milk. They love their animals. Grieve when things happen to them. Ask when will we have new lambs. When will we have new calves? When will it be warm enough to play in the mud, ride horses every day, plant seeds in the gardens? Kohen has been overheard teaching his peers on the school bus what organic means and why HIS bacon is the best. (Maybe he really is listening to his parents.)
I know that I will be renewed in this passion in two weeks when I head to MOSES Organic Farm Conference in LaCrosse. I know that God will show us where we should go with all of our multifaceted farm plans. I know it will work out for the best. I just need some more reminders on dark days, on days when I am a failed farmer.
What started out as a hobby, few goats, sheep... has turned into my life. I have my family, my school kids, and our animals. People tell me they wish they could live "simply" like we do. I often want to invite them to visit and stay during lambing or calving time. Give it a week, and you tell me how simple it feels. Rushing home from work hoping only the skilled "good" moms gave birth while we were away.
We continue to wrestle with where we want to go with the pigs. Raising Red Wattle pigs the way we are, with the cost of feed, is not a wise financial decision. Nate calculated this morning that we will have a minimum of 2.50 a pound into the current batch when they are ready to be butchered. That is the feed costs. It doesn't cover the electricity for providing them fresh water during the winter, or the daily labor. Who in their right minds would keep working at something that only costs you?
The answer: me. Us. We do. We start discussing and decided it isn't wise to keep the pigs. Then we eat some pork chops, and ask the question, Where would we get this good pork? Darn it. Farm decisions are never easy. I would love to make this my full time occupation. The reality is it takes both of us working outside jobs to make the income to have the farm too.
The only consolation I have is that my boys are living, learning, and eating right. They are jealous of the dogs and cat getting the goat milk right now, wanting to know how many days until we milk for our milk. They love their animals. Grieve when things happen to them. Ask when will we have new lambs. When will we have new calves? When will it be warm enough to play in the mud, ride horses every day, plant seeds in the gardens? Kohen has been overheard teaching his peers on the school bus what organic means and why HIS bacon is the best. (Maybe he really is listening to his parents.)
I know that I will be renewed in this passion in two weeks when I head to MOSES Organic Farm Conference in LaCrosse. I know that God will show us where we should go with all of our multifaceted farm plans. I know it will work out for the best. I just need some more reminders on dark days, on days when I am a failed farmer.
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